Merry Christmas

There is certain things in life. They're different for everyone. The thing(s) that bring you back to feeling like a child. It comforts you. Takes you away from the harshness of the world. The harshness of...age. It brings you to a place of innocence, away from all your worries, burdens and pains. It fills you with life. Maybe with the only glimpse of true happiness that any of us will ever feel in our lifetimes and your heart smiles.

Tonight I'll sleep with this light.

Tonight I'll pretend that magic is real.

Merry Christmas.

"Dear night lights, protect my sleeping babes, burn clear and steadfast tonight"

How much would you bet, that if I tried hard enough, I would spontaneously combust

The end of December yet again approaches and of course, Christmas is on its way. This also means New Years is right around the corner. So in fashion, I see it time for a yearly recap of the things that have happened this year.

It would seem that nothing happened or atleast not a lot, but things did happen.

- I saw Jimmy Eat World on their "Clarity" Tour.
- Jeremy and Kris got married and also gave birth to a son, I think I know of a few others who had children, thats mind blowing.
- I went to Philly with a few friends and got to spend time with Jill for a day or two and meet her now husband, Alex.
- I got to meet 3 very special young women which I am whole heartedly pleased to say that I am friends with from a country far far away called Australia.
- I FINALLY purchased a Custom Drum kit from Dark Horse Percussion.
- I deviated my septum on the 4th of July thanks to Adam Gil.
- A friend in need needed me to fill in on drums for one of their shows, so I did and had a great time, it had been my first time playing a show in 4 years. So that was a really cool thing for me.
- I saw Sunny Day Real Estate on their reunion tour.

Thats it really. Nothing you would call an amazing year to remember.

This year I had a "plan" or atleast a goal of some kind. I dont think you could really call it a "resolution", maybe it was, I dont know, but I am confident to know that ANYTHING would be better than last year and I'll be honest, it was. My "goal" was easy. It was just to simply to TRY. Like I predicted, nothing really worked out for me. Maybe I could have tried harder? Maybe its all my fault that nothing really happened. It wasnt so much to get out there and try new things. It was more of a reason to seize opportunities. Maybe I should have tried to MAKE things happen, rather than give attempts that things that just happen to cross me by. I wanted to do things a little differently, possibly correct mistakes ive made in the past. Put myself out there in hopes that something or someone might align with me or...get it. I feel you can only do so much. Its always possible to make something out of nothing, but its of course, so much harder. Considering I feel the things I want dont really rely on me. They are more up to other people. Im probably making excuses, but I dont think so. Im pretty good at calling out bullshit, even my own.

The love I chose packed up and left like every love I've ever known. I believe that it was lucky number...4. Though you can't blame anything or anyone. Its nothing any of the women I've been fortunate enough to spend time with OR me had done wrong. It just came down to a decision. Me or...something else, somewhere else. It has seemed to be more that simply LIFE has been just pulling everyone in other directions. Whether it be ex-boyfriends, new boyfriends, family, jobs and things of that variety. And Im sure that my current interest will suffer the same peril. Come daylight savings she'll be just as gone as the cold weather and like the remaining snow we'll simply dissipate. I've never had a knack for timing, as it would seem. Id like to one day fix that.

On a more poisitve note, I tryed out for this band called Linden. My friend Rob had called me and told me his friend Eric deals with this band. They need a guitarist and drummer. So me and Rob learned some songs and tracked our tracks with Jared and sent them off. It was probably the most out there thing I've done. I was following my goal. I didnt care if I had to move out to Wisconsin. I was going to give it a shot and try to MAKE it happen. I gave it my best and it goes without saying, Im still here.

This same Eric gave me a call to also fill in for anoter band he deals with. They had a 2 month tour lined up and their drummer had just quit. Sadly, 8 days is not enough time for me to prepair myself or my place of employment that I would be abruptly leaving for 60 days. Now you could argue with me that right there I blew my ticket out, but Its something I didnt feel I could do. So I feel I made the right decision.

Speaking of decisions, I've made the decision that its time. Hopefully in the spring, summer or fall I will be moving out of my home. I've milked it for as long as I can. I've been spending a lot of time in the city and id like to move closer. Id probably see people more often. People might actually come over. I'll probably feel a lot less lonely. You never know who you might run into on the streets and theres always a place to go for a drink or a talk. Its a lot closer to my work. In the summer I can ride my bike for transportation and use my car less. I think it'll be a really good time.

I need to get out there on my own. It'll make me worry about more important things than what I worry about now. Though I know that I will be just fine. It might even occupy some of my time. I can always clean, do the dishes, take out the garbage, or paint something.

2010 brings new life.
- Im gonna move out.
- I've got plans to go visit my friends in Australia.
- I've been really wanting to get back into writing music again. So im going to start trying to get into a musical situation.
- My drums will be finished! I'll then be going to NJ/NYC to go get them and visiting friends.
- In January Ill be going to Florida to see Juston and Lauren get married. Starting the year off right with a trip to escape winter for atleast 4 days.

You never know what can happen. Maybe I'll find that band. Maybe Ill find a really cool place. Maybe I'll finally be enough to keep someone around. Maybe none of this shit will happen at all but as long as I feel good nothing else matters. I mean whats the worst that can happen? I get stuck in the same place I've been all my life.

Here we go again.

Releases of 2009

I've ALWAYS wanted to do one of these! However I NEVER remember all of the releases that came out that year that I enjoyed! So this year I wrote them down!

This year I made it a point to actually PURCHASE copies of records. Im still in the vinyl game, but this year I felt that a lot of excellent bands put out great releases and they were bands that I really do love, enjoy and deserve to get their hard word rewarded by selling a unit. I did fall off the wagon and didnt buy ALL that I wanted too, but theres always time, right? Though im also guilty, cause I did download a lot too. Win some, lose some, I guess.

Here's what I picked up:
AFI- Crash Love
Alexisonfire- Old Crows/Young Cardinals
The Appleseed Cast- Sagarmatha
As Cities Burn - Hell or High Water
As tall as lions- you cant take it with you
The Audition - Self Titled Album
Brand New- Daisy
Cambiata- The Cambiata
Cartel- Cycles
Cassino- Kingprince
Cobra Starship- Hot Mess
Cursive- Mama Im Swollen
Dance Gavin Dance- Happiness
The Dear Hunter- Act III: Life & Death
Death Cab For Cutie - The Open Door
Decibully- World Travels Fast
Dredg- The Pariah, the Parrot, the Delusion
Evergreen Terrace- almost home
Every Time I Die- new junk aesthetic
The Fall Of Troy- in the unlikely event
The Fray- S/T
The Higher- its only natural
Jeremy Enigk- ok bear
This Providence- Who are you now
Mae- (m)orning EP
Mark Rose- The Greatest Lakes
The Mars Volta- Octahedron
Mayday Parade- anywhere but here
Maylene and the Sons of Disaster- III
Municipal Waste- Massive Aggressive
Nightmare Of You- Infomaniac
Owen- New Leaves
Paramore- breand new eyes
Polar Bear Club- Chasing Hamburg
RX bandits- mandala
Say Anything- Say Anything
The Seams- EP
Sherwood- QU
The Sleeping- what it takes
Soul Control- cycles
Taking Back Sunday- New Again
Thrice- Beggars
Thursday- Common Existence

Top 5 of 2009:
1. Thrice- Beggars
2. As Cities Burn- Hell or High Water
3. As Tall As Lions- You Cant Take It With You
4. Dredg- The Pariah, the Parrot, the Delusion
5. Every Time I Die- new junk aesthetic

Honorable Mentions:
Alexisonfire- Old Crows/Young Cardinals
Brand New- Daisy
Cursive- mama Im Swollen
The Dear Hunter- Act III: Life & Death
Jeremy Enigk- Ok Bear
RX Bandits- Mandala

I am a bit surprised at my list. There are things I didnt expect to be on it and missing things I thought WOULD be on it. This was a surprising year. I got into new bands. Some bands put out fantastic releases, but something about them fell short.

Solitude.

"I was a man who thrived on solitude; without it
I was like another man without food or water.
Each day without solitude weakened me.
I took not pride in my solitude; but I was dependent on it.
The darkness of the room was like sunlight to me."

The Blackbirds Are Rough Today

"Lonely as a dry and used orchard spread over the earth for use and surrender.

Shot down like an ex-pug selling dailies on the corner.

Taken by tears like an aging chorus girl whos gotten her last check.

A hanky is in order your lord, your worship.

The blackbirds are rough today like ingrown toenails in an overnight jail--wine wine whine, the blackbirds run around and fly around harping about Spainish melodies and bones.

And everywhere is nowhere--the dream is as bad as flapjacks and flat tires:

why do we go on with our minds and pockets full of dust like a bad boy just out of school, you tell me, you who were a hero in some revolution. You who teach children. You who drink with calmness. You who own large homes and walk in gardens. You who have killed a man and own a beautiful wife. You tell me.

Why am I on fire like old dry garbage.

We might surely have some interesting correspondence. It will keep the mailman busy.

And the butterflies and ants and bridges and cemeteries, the rocket-makers and dogs and garage mechanics will still go on a while until we run out of stamps and/0r ideas.

Dont be ashamed of anything; I guess God meant it all like locks on doors."

Find and Buy Me This Shirt.

Talk about wearing your heart on your sleeve, what about an entire front print!?

I came across this photograph via my buddy Phil Williams blog. He found it via someone, who probably found it via 9000 people. Phil is always a good one for finding random cool shit on the internet. Kudos Phil!

I really dont have anything else to say about this shirt, other than I WANT IT. I would have to buy many of them, cause I would probably wear it every day for the rest of my life.

I NEED FUEL!

Soooo, while perusing around on the old interwebs I came across this. Yes, you would be correct to say that it is a coffee mug, cause thats what it is, but its not your typical piece of ceramics meant for holding your morning brew.

IT'S A HOT WATER MUSIC MUG DUDE!

So, now I can say that I, Matthew Richard Tellier, has his OWN coffee mug. I use mugs daily, but now this one is MINE. It will be only used by ME and if not, I will pour whatever hot beverage is contained within this mug onto them. So back off!

Now I understand that it might be a bit frivolous to make such an event out of such and object cause its a friggin mug but this mug, for the time being until I acquire the other necessary attributes, is my manly possession. What is a Dad without HIS chair? What is a Grandfather without his cardigan, slippers and probably also, chair? Even an old dog without whatever it is hes been laying on for all those years...

So for the eager young gentleman that I so happen to be, whos ready to wake up and give the world a good ol fashioned ass kicking, this is the best and most relevant symbol that I can think of. 

Someday My Dance Will Begin...

Ive been neglecting my books. I havent read anything in a really long time. Ive had some things on the mind lately. To no surprise, these things are not good. So I opened something up and read a few pages. Ive been on "Run With The Hunted" for a while now. Poems, short stories, from Charles Bukowskis' other novels. This caught my eye really hard. So im posting it.

"I would never forgive the girls for getting into those cream-colored coupes with the laughing boys. They couldnt help it, of course, yet you always think, maybe...but no, there werent any maybes. Wealth meant victory and victory was the only reality. What woman chooses to live with a dishwasher?

Throughout high school I tried not to think too much about how things might eventually turn out for me. It seemed better to delay thinking...

Finally  it was the day of the Senior Prom. It was held in the girls' gym with live music, a real band. I dont know why but I walked over that night, the two-and-one-half miles from my parents' place. I stood outside in the dark and I looked in there, through the wired-covered window, and I was astonished. All the girls looked very grown-up, stately, lovely, they were in long dresses, and they all looked beautiful. I almost didnt recognize them. And the boys in their tuxes, they looked great, they danced so straight, each of them holding a girl in his arms, their faces pressed against the girls' hair. They all danced beautifully and the music was loud and clear and good, powerful. 

Then I caught a glimpse of my reflection staring in at them--boils and scars on my face, my ragged shirt. I was like some jungle animal drawn to the light looking in. Why had I come? I felt sick. But I kept watching. The dance ended. There was a pause. Couples spoke easily to each other. It was natural and civilized. Where had they learned to converse and dance? I couldnt converse or dance. Everybody knew something I didnt know. The girls looked so good, the boys so handsome. I would be too terrified to even look at one of those girls, let alone be close to one. To look into her eyes or dance with her would be beyond me. 

And yet I knew that what I saw wasnt as simple and good as it appeared. There was a price to be paid for all of it, a general falsity, that could be easily believed, and could be the first step down a dead-end street. The band began to play agian and the boys and the girls began to dance again and the lights revolved overhead throwing shades of gold, then red, then blue, then green, then gold again on the couples. As I watched them I said to myself, someday my dance will begin. When that day comes I will have something that they dont have. 

But then it got to be too much for me. I hated them. I hated their beauty, their untroubled youth, and as I watched them dance through the magic colored pools of light, holding each other, feeling so good, little unscathed children, temporarily in luck, I hated them because they had something I had not yet had, and I said to myself, I said to myself again, someday I will be as happy as any of you, you will see."

The Stranger

This is an old blog that I had posted on Myspace in 2008. Ive been meaning to move some of my blogs posted there to blogger for sometime. I just happen to log in and actually do it. It might seem silly but since social networking sites sway with the trends, I dont know how log it will last, either my existence on the site or the site itself. I think its atleast something valid. Since I do post things that I feel pertain to me as a human being. Words that are simply better put. There will probably be more of these as time goes on and I seem to run out of shit to blog about. Ive been running on low for a while now.

I'm not really going to go into why I feel as though I have some sort of connection with this since I do not really feel as though I could describe it well enough into words. I suppose I could say I've always known I was "different" in some way,though I guess that could pertain to anyone but I'm refering to "society" as a general whole. I think differently,I question emotions and actions of people. I wonder "Why" a lot. If I just never "love" anyone,if I dont ever cry at a funeral,if I really dont love my mother as much as I really should, etc and if I dont do any of these things im labeled some sort of emotionless weird asshole. 

I've just started reading "The Stranger" by Albert Camus. This is all inspired by him. While reading the Introduction(Peter Dunwoodie) I came across this and something clicked in my head directly after reading it. I felt "hey,this is...me" Camus once suggested that "if you want to be a philosopher, write novels". I really dont think that will be happening anytime soon or ever. So I'll just post the paragraphs I felt strong about. 

"The answer must be sought in Meursault's own statements and attitudes, and it is in these that we encounter the philosophy of the Absurd that Meursault embodies.

As Meursault and his new girlfriend Marie dress after going for a swim Marie notices his black tie and asks if he is in mourning: 'i told her maman had died. She wanted to know how long ago,so i said "yesterday". She gave a little start but didnt say anything.' A few days later, when asked if he wants to marry her: 'I said it didnt make any difference to me and that we could if she wanted to...Then she pointed out that marriage was a serious thing. I said, "no". She stopped talking for a minute and looked at me without saying anything...After another moments silence, she mumbled that i was peculiar, that was probably why she loved me but that one day i might hate her for the same reason.' When asked by his defense counsel if his mothers death had upset him he replies: 'i probably did love maman, but that didnt mean anything. At one time or another all normal people have wished their loved ones were dead. Here the lawyer interrupted me and he seemed very upset'. Such responses are disconcerting not merely because they reveal the heros rather brutal directness and honesty, but because these very qualities are used to challenge more normal conventions and values. As Camus put it, 'Meursault is condemned because he does not play the game', because, far from being the apparently indifferent, unemotional individual that his account first suggests, his actions and statements are the direct consequence of a philosophical stance which rejects widespread social and moral norms. He is accused of indifference after putting his mother in a home or refusing to look at the corpse, yet he acknowledges that, once settled, she was happier with people of her own generation and,after her death,his first thought on reaching the old peoples home is to see her body. He is accused of callousness because he smokes or drinks at ther wake, yet he had though about it beforehand and decided 'it didnt matter'. Accused in short, of not displaying conventional attitudes and reactions. 

Meursault, then, is not an automaton, devoid of emotion, incapable of pleasure or reflection. On the contrary, it is in the name of alternative values that he undemonstratively opposes those of society. First and foremost among these values is, precisely, that of pleasure: whether in his work, on the beach, in his relations with Marie and his friends, even in prison, Meursault's primary concern is with immediate, sensual gratification. When such pleasures are unavailable, they can be dismissed; when offered, they are to be enjoyed; and from the outset the text makes it clear that the natural world (sky,sun,sea,light,warmth...) is the primary source of such pleasure, to the extent that Marie, whether in the sea, on the sand or in the smell of salt left on her pillow, is essentially the embodiment of those natural elements. Meursault dismisses the (cultural) notion of love, but fully appreciates the force of desire."

"The philosophy of Camus is a philosophy of the Absurd, and for him the Absurd springs from the relation of man to the world, of his legitimate aspirations to the vanity and the futility of human wishes. The conclusions which he draws from it are those of classical pessimism".

This is what I have to look forward to.

Thanks Kristy!

Snare Re-Doins Pt. II

Project number 2 was just finished yesterday! I took my sweet ass time with this one. I've been lazy. It happens! It also doesnt help when I go to get heads, finally, and they are out of Hazys. What can you do?

This bad boy is a 14x7 steel Tama Rockstar snare. Rockstars usually arent the best thing on the market, but I really like this snare drum. It looks like a serious beast. Appears so much larger than my 14x7 yamaha birch. Its strange. 

BEFORE:

This is the kind of stuff I was dealing with! WHO DOES THIS!?

Again, I didnt really DO much. I just took everything off and then just used Brasso to just shine everything up. Nothing really all THAT special, but I think it came out pretty good, yet again. The finish could have come out a little bit better. It almost seems a bit scratchy or foggy? maybe? I dont know if its something I did. I used a green pad, it wasnt rough at all, but it had a little something to it. So maybe thats what did it. It had too much shit all over it and like, deposits? stuck all over the steel. Using an ordinary rag didnt seem like it would do anything for it. So I went with one of those green pads. No idea what its called, but it comes on the back of sponges to do dishes with, know what im saying?

Here is was it looks like now!

Now as for tuning. I went with the standard, using the dial of course. Bottom head 82, top 85. I think it sounds pretty good. Its a looser tuning than what I like but im not use to steel snares nor their tuning, but after I played around on it a little bit and heard it mixed with everything, its pretty good. Id like to re-do it again in the future with a tighter tuning, maybe 85 bottom, 90 top. I think thats what I use for my yamaha.

Then again, I assume steels are supposed to be tuned lower. Essentially im going for that Death Cab For Cutie sound with it. If you listen to "summer skin" off Plans or "grapevine Fires" off Narrow Stairs, youll know what I mean. Thats what I was going for. Something loose, little ringy, long sustain, give you lots of play for stick work.

Its loud as fuck when you really bang on it too, so overall I guess thats just its nature. Ill see what happens in a couple months. I would really like to re-do it and tune it differently.

FINALLY!

Trick 'R Treat is coming out! New trailer was just released! Ive been waiting since 2007 for this movie! after last years hold up, I wait NO LONGER! Perfect for this coming Halloween! Although I do believe its going to be straight to DVD and not be released in theaters, like it should be.

Unmissed Conncections

So theres a new band out, they have a new song up. This part is no big deal really. Though they blogged about, what im guessing, is the whole meaning to this new song. Who these people are, what band they were in, what band they are all in now, doesnt really matter. The whole point of me even blogging this, is to remember it. When the blog, the band, the people, me, are all gone. I read this and much like a lot of the things I've ever read in the past and probably will read in the future, a light bulb went off.

Now I wouldn't say that I have a hard time expressing myself on certain views when asked but sometimes other people just say better shit, so, fuck it. I read this and felt very much in tune with what was said. This persons views, whether they are true or fictional for the sake of song. Whether this event occured or it was made up for the sake of story. I very much feel the same way. What its REALLY about, I could only guess, but many things in art are always left open to the viewer, the listeners, own interpretation.

This is the blog which I am re-posting is from this band called Nocturnal Me.  Now how you feel about this song, these dudes or bascially anything else, I dont care. This isnt some shameless promotion, this isnt some fan blog(though maybe it is? haha). This is simply a series of words which I felt was in some essence, "ME" and I wish to document them, much like the large amount of book quotes that are throughout my blog. Excluding the mind games part, im not too into games, PERIOD. I do like to get in their mind though, but MY intentions are not for games. The mind is the best and only way to really KNOW things about a person. Which I love doing. Ive probably pointed out things you do, say, weird ticks you might have, your fears and why you have them, and have in a minor way, poked fun at you for them, but I asure you, its all in good fun.

"This Isn't Love 

"This is not my scene"...I thought to myself...

"This shouldn't be anyone's scene"...the other side of me replied...

Any place where you can smoke inside is bad news now a days, and for me its doubly true. I can barely breathe as it is, I don't need the help of vaporized nicotine and stuffy situations. The last thing I want/need is to waste my breathe on common conversation with anyone within these walls. I came in here with the home team and even we don't exchange more than a glance and some suttle nuances throughout the night. Words are overrated and oxygen is at a minimum. 

I grab a drink and a seat (in that order) and decide to let my mind unfold for a while. I've always had the tendancy to look people in the eyes whether they're right in front of me or across the room. It's one of my only qualities that I continue to develop on a daily basis, and I also think that's what got her attention. This place wasn't crowded by any means but there were enough people there to call it a competition...

She works, I watch
She looks, I smile
Lather, rinse, repeat

For hours it goes like this until a subconcious connection is formed to the point where I feel familiar once she comes over to greet me.

"This is my kind of girl"...

Someone who doesn't cling to the stereotype of male dominance in romantic relationships. I HATE approaching women. 24 hours a day they are bombarded with insincerity and sketchiness and I refuse to fall into that category. From a very young age I decided that playing the game that way was not going to work for me. If I was going play the game at all, I was going to do it my way...Patiently, intelligently and planned. You can never lose as long as you don't invest yourself too much, and in this situation that's my M.O. Calm, cool, collected and detached. I never had a problem sleeping alone, and tonight is no exception.

The conversation navigates familiar waters. Where are you from? What do you do? What are you majoring in? Where do you live? What's your dog's name? Have you ever been to Amsterdam? How about this humidity? Do you have a cigarette? Why don't you smoke? Can I buy you a drink? etc...etc...Until finally, 6 syallabels are muttered which attack the crux of the situation with percision that only a female mind can conjure

She asks..."What are your intentions?"

At this point I'm always extremely honest. I'm a very affectionate person by nature, I love women and I love being close to them...If there is an opportunity for close combat, I'm just as eager as the next dude. But there IS something slightly different about me: I thoroughly enjoy mind games and I'm not ashmaed of it. The chase means more to me than any close encounter ever could...There is just something much more enthralling about playing a chess match and getting inside someone's head vs. getting wasted and getting in someone's bed. Call me old fashioned, but I'd just like to think I'm avoiding desperation with this mindset.

She can't take my honesty. It's obvious she's been jaded by her past and my answers seem to make her confused/angry/happy all at the same time. Am I a wolf in sheep's clothing? Another regret that she is bound to make? Or am I diamond in the rough? An opportunity she will likely never see again for months to come?

The questions remain unanswered. A few more drinks and she doesn't really care about my intentions; at this point ours may have morphed into one and the same. The time comes to pull the trigger and in my usual fashion I am gunshy. The lack of mystery unveils the situation for what it is and all I really want to do is go home and get a good night's rest. My causal irreverence towards the situation offends her to the point where she surrenders her Stoli 7 and Lime, shakes my hands, and bids me adieu immediately. 

I remain unphased, unattached and unwilling to compromise my vision in order to gain experience. I'm only interested in someone who can capture my full imagination and it's obvious that tonight was no more than a conversation piece and a lesson.

The truth is simple:

It isn't much if you don't mean it. 
And it isn't love if you don't need it. "

Drum Tuner!

Okay, since finishing that Pearl Piccolo and not being happy with the sound of it, I decided that I was going to re-tune it. So I took the wires and both the heads off and started over before I actually delivered it to Luke. 

However this time around, I made the decision to go out and buy a tuner. I'm not sure of my reasoning as to why I never really wanted one but think I was always a little confused about them, so I avoided it. I also thought I never really "needed" one. Guitarists have tuners, So I used that as my justification on going out and buying one because I for some reason felt that using one was "cheating". Since an experienced drummer should be able to tune them by ear, yadda yadda yadda.

So I went out and bought this guy right here. Its called "Drum Dial". I must say that I'm totally in love with it. I forumed around a bit and some seemed to like it and some seemed to dislike it, but that goes for anything really. Tuning is a really hard thing to do. I've been tuning drums for 7 years and Ive always said "hm, that sounds alright" after EVERY drum that Ive ever tuned. That is now a thing of the past to me, hello confidence!

"DrumDial quickly and precisely tunes all drums by accurately measuring drumhead tension NOT tension rod torque. Tension rod torque can be used to tell you when you are over tightening a bolt to prevent thread damage, but is not accurate for drum tuning because of the difference in screw tolerances, plating, corrosion, and thread wear. You can eliminate these problems by using a DrumDial to measure drumhead tension directly from the drumhead, allowing you to precisely tune your drums faster and easier than ever before."- www.drumdial.com

I love it mainly cause the manual gives you a bunch of standard tensions for different size drums. So you get a starting point to try, then fine tune what you like and dont like from there depending on what sound you want out of your drum(s). Since I've been doing snares over I've already been finding out what I like for snares, I'm definitely not following the tensions that are given in the manual. I dont really agree with the tom tensions but, I do like the kick drum tensions they gave. I'm happy with them, even though I should probably put new heads of my kit, I'm getting my custom hopefully soon, so whats the point?

For lukes snare, I was lucky enough to find someone in a drum forum who was using a Drum Dial and had the same exact snare. So I used the tensions he had used and I think the drum sounds fantastic now. Although I'm not sure if the drum dial just served as a placebo or not, since I'm not aware of what my tensions were BEFORE I re-tuned it with the dial. Kind of bummed on that. It's still ringy, but I'm happy with it now. 

I've come to realize that the drum dial isn't "cheating", to be honest I really don't even know why I have this sort of guilt about it haha because I can still go by ear and learn that way, then just use the dial to even out the lugs I went either too far or too loose on. I can definitely tell already though just by using it once the huge difference there is when you have ALL your tension around the drum perfect on both tops and reso heads rather than a "guessed" tuned drum.

If you want ALL the info about how it works, go to www.drumdial.com. The site is pretty much a blog within itself.

OH, Hey, Australia!

LOOK WHAT I GOT IN THE MAIL TODAY!

We're getting closer and closer! Now all I need is to save the money!

Saving starts soon!

Now that I have this thing, anyone down for a Canada sesh!?

Snare Drum Re-Doins Pt. 1

I took up a project 2 weeks ago. I saw this snare drum sitting in Luke Taylors basement. Its a Pearl Piccolo 13"x3". Its been in his basement for lord knows how months. It wasn't being used since the top head had exploded, there was a VHS tape sitting inside the thing for gods sake. So since I have nothing else better to do with my spare time, I decided to take it home and refurbish it.

It was my first time ever taking a snare or any drum for that matter, completely apart, tuning both TOP and Bottom heads on a snare AND replacing snare wires. I figured it "good for me" since I love drums and don't ever shut up about them or stop looking at drums, drooling on the internet. So why not learn more, since you can never know too much about something you're sincerely passionate about.

Here's what it looked like BEFORE:


Now I was really trying to refrain from using the word "refurbish". Since it sounds really intense and like hard work. Where I didn't really do much. I just kinda "cleaned" it. Though I did take the time and got some polish from my grandfather and clean all the hoops, lugs and tension rods so they'd shine real nice.

Here's what it looks like NOW:


I think it came out pretty good. The only thing that stresses me out is the tuning of it. I don't know what it sounded like before hand. I'm also not familiar with Steel snares, especially piccolos. I think its way too ringy, but i'm not sure if that's just the nature of this drum/steel drums in general. Maybe I choked it or the strainer isn't set right, it could definitely be something with the bottom head. It doesn't sound awful but I personally don't particularly like the sound very much but that could have been because I did something incorrectly. 

Though for a first try, I give myself credit. You have to learn some how so its an experience. There's another snare to "refurbish". So i'm going to try my luck with that one. It is also steel, but I believe its deeper, so this one will also sound different, but I am interested in seeing the difference between a 5-7 inch steel snare and a 3".

When my kit is finished and I get my new snare, I plan on changing the bottom head on my 14X7 Yamaha and see how that goes. So if I struggle with that one its only my back up and not my ONLY snare that I have. 

Letters And Packages

So many koala bears! I got a package from my friends in Australia today! They sent it out before they flew out of California, which was probably...2 days ago, i think? They were SUPPOSED to give me them when they were here in New England, but noooooo.

Im pumped on it! I love gifts! Even if its Dave & Busters frisbees! Which I only recieved because I was in D&B one time talking to Kristy and told her I was there and she had no idea what it was until she came across one while in Cali.

THANK YOU LADIES! You are too sweet!

Ill be awaiting my second package! Since apparently you forgot something, I cannot imagine what it could be!

I hope that I'll be seeing yous by next summer! <3

Australia!

Next year I plan on accomplishing 1 of the things I'd like to do before I die. I'm going to Australia!

All this came about so strange. I recieve a message from a young lady claiming that she is from Australia and coming to the US. At first I thought "okay, yeah, so what, why the hell are you telling me"? So, I replyed anyway haha. Turns out that she was coming to Mass and also attending Metal Fest. Which is extremely close to me. So after some more talking, it came to be that she also knew/was going to meet lots of people I knew in the Western Mass area. So needless to say, I then became interested in meeting these, what turned out to be 3 females from the country of Australia.

from left to right: Ashleigh, Kirstie, Kristy & me! I'm very glad that I got a chance to meet these 3 ladies. They are extremely nice people and seem to have no attitudes at all. They were all very funny and witty ladies and we got along great right from the get go, it was fantastic. I had a lot of fun being around them and hanging for what was sadly the one and only night I got to spend with them. I didnt think they would be as awesome as they were! I do feel I missed out but having to work on weekdays and them spending their time in Mass an hour and a half away prohibited maximum hangs, but ill make up for that next year!

Kristy was sweet enough to just GIVE me money from her Country. One of the questions that I had asked her was if Australian currency had Kangaroos on it. Since anything to do with Australia, I always assume it has to do with Kangaroos. It turns out it does! Australian dollar coins are WAY cooler than the USAs Sacagawea dollar coin, that thing is stupid! Theirs has cute animals on it! The large 50 cent coin also has Kangaroos on it! Im very much pumped on having money from Australia and I definitly plan on using it! Since Ive met nice and awesome people from there, it has given me lots of ambition to actually get going on it. I now have friends to see and a place to stay so the stress of going on this trip completely alone is now gone! After I finish paying for my drums that will be finished in the next few months, I have nothing else to save for. They were the most expensive goal in my life, other than buying cars. So now that thats out of the way, its travel time!

It feels nice to have a goal. One that I know I can reach. Because the only thing thats holding me back is the money for a plane ticket. Which is something I can easily raise. I love to travel, I know there is a whole world out there and I want to see it! Im surrounded by it always, friends are off in bands, doing something they love and I also love, MUSIC. I wish I could catch a break on that part of my life. Though it doesnt matter, music will always be there, its something that im always going to be doing or trying to do. If I cant mix traveling and music together, so be it. Its not going to hold me back from raising the money to go off and see other places. It just makes it easier haha. Ive filled out my passport form. I'm going to go get my photo taken in the next coming week and then drop that off and await the 1st very small step towards making my journey to a beautiful country to arrive in the mail.

Plus I have this to look forward to!

Im going to be hanging out with all these ladies! Its going to be awesome! Hopefully there wont be much singing involved! HA!(this is actually them! this isnt a random video I picked off youtube!). I cant wait to see all the cool things the country has to offer from scenery to FOOD and Of course holding a koala bear! I'm not sure where Ill be going in the country but im sure that I wont be disappointed.

July 2010 here I come Australia!

Experiments

2009 seems to be the year for them. If you could even call them that at all. Speaking for myself of course and since absolutely nothing thus far has been going my way, I've come to notice that positivity is hardly with me anymore like it was in January where all this "new lease and outlook on...(add variable X here)" started and im starting to wonder if I've just been shitting it all out with every afternoons BM. So in retaliation to my most recent blog entry(the one below this one) I've taken it upon myself to do something about "it".

My plan was everything but well crafted last night as I made the decision to not listen to ANY music, at all, for an unknown period of time. Since I find myself confiding in music always, searching for solace without much result of making things any better. So whats the fucking point? I kind of find it impossible however to not listen to anything, even though I have not tried it yet, the sounds of nature, life, the city, the hum of my vehicle as I gracefully disobey the speed limit, just wont cut it.

Im still going to try though, today was the day of Snapcase. I think I really just have to apply myself and say "no, dont listen to that" and try to focus on other things and listen to other things that I just find myself not caring to relate to and ignoring. I see it the only way. What Id like to help, isnt helping and if I want to do things different this year, I have to actually fucking do it.

"Problems" weight me down easy. I feel that I could have always done better, done more, I have trouble letting go, I have trouble accepting. I beat myself into the ground so hard I feel the warmth from hell, Id swear that Ive almost reached it a few times but in order to cast all these things away, really isnt up to any band or any song or any single person but myself. So in reality, what should it matter what I listen to? Well that is something I cannot answer, for some reason, it matters, in my world. If it hurts, why fucking deal with it any longer?

I really need to cut the shit with these rule breakers.

Which Came First?

A lot of the time I think about this very thing. Maybe I need to branch out more and find new music? Even though I know within that new music, whatever it may be, I will search for substance, meaning, a connection, which I or anyone should see nothing wrong with since its something I think everyone does. Im coming to the conclusion that what Im attracted to and the kind of person that I am, is what never gets me out of the holes I find myself in yearly, usually over the same thing. So maybe its me? Even down to the books that I read, whether a fictional story or a philosophical book by a writer who has a far better grip on his/her own case of fucking... melancholia, than I will ever have. They all have one thing in common, dark, evil, depressing shit about loss, death, confusion and the shere burden of being given life.

I need a new playlist...or maybe a renewed sense of being.

"My bright, is too slight, to hold back all my dark"

Sorry for this Blog rule breaker.

Dark Horse Percussion!

Thats right! After MANY years of dreaming up kits and talking to friends trying to get the hook up from the company they play. I have reached the end of the line. I have found a Company that is awesome and gave me an excellent price on a custom kit!

It feels weird. Its been SO long and now its finally happening. Im super pumped! 

heres what I got:

SIZES:

24x18 kick
16x16 floor
12x8 rack
13x8 snare (10ply)

chrome 2.3 mm hoops
chrome Diecast hoops on snare only
chrome mini tube lugs
floor tom mounts for legs drilled into the shell. 

kit color: Custom Navy blue with a glitter finish
kit stripes: 2 Donkey white abalone stripes
Snare finish: wrapped in Donkey white abalone.

The kit in look, will be just like this(minus the diff. colors obv.)

and thats that. I asked Anthony if he could photograph the process as best he can and send me shots so that I can blog the process here. I hope this happens!

STOKED!

DARK HORSE PERCUSSION

Futures

I live in a colonial house, on the sunny side of San Nicolas Park, where I have spent all the days of my life without wife or fortune, where my parents lived and died and where I have proposed to die alone, in the same bed in which I was born and on a day that I hope will be distant and painless.

Gene Simmons Dog

 Ummmm.....Im basically speachless.

Soundtrack.

In a house that has minimal moments of silence, whether it be my own room, since I supposedly "hate" silence and am ALWAYS listening to SOMETHING or the obnoxious voices of the people that I live with. I find that when I read, I need to drown out those obnoxious voices and cover it with something.

Total silence is normally prefered for me whenever im trying to use my brain and take in or process information, but since I cannot do that here, I listen to this fine Instrumental release by Explosions In The Sky called "the earth is not a cold dead place".

I cannot listen to things with vocals, since it is too distracting. I cant seem to listen to the Album Leaf either, since they will surprisingly throw vocals in and ill get fucked up(Im weird?). Nor can I listen to The Cancer Conspiracy, since they are too intense and I will pay more attention to how intense they are. Than actually read.

So I found a nice EP to calm down to, relax and get pages finished. I dont know why its ONLY this album, Ive put all of them on before. There is just something about this one, I mean, it also happens to be my favorite release by them, so maybe thats it?

Things I'd Like To Do Before I Die

These are my friends, Scott, Dan and Scott. They are lucky enough to have their picture taken with one of these fine, terribly cute animals that just so happens to be one of my favorites. 

I dont know where you would go to have this pleasure, it could very well be Australia. Which is a place on my list of countries to visit. 

So, before I die, I would love to visit Australia and have my picture taken with a Koala. I will snug it until it pops like a basketball!

Br00tal Dessert!

Ever feel that Ice cream was childs play?

Well not any more! You hard ass men of men can now enjoy ice cream without feeling like a total pussy!

I do think im going to try this next time I go to Kimballs. Mocha Almond sounds awesome as hell. 

If you dont know what Kimballs is, its a awesome place to get ice cream in Westford, Mass(among another mass location & a NH one) check out all the fun that can be had HERE. There isnt even any pictures of your 2 choices of Mini Golf Adventures!!!

Things I'd Like To Do Before I Die

I have a list, most of which I can't remember. I do have one though! So I'm going to start blogging them when they come to my head. Some are jokes and totally not serious, borderline stupid probably, but some are also serious. 

This one is about how I would love to get a couple of friends and ride a 4(or 5) person bike!

I hope to one day accomplish this goal. I think it would be so much fun! 

 

Hot Dog, Mans Best Friend?

One of my Hot Dogs had a tail. Its was kind of a weird situation.

I wasnt sure whether or not I should have ate it or pet it...


...OH, I ate it!

Cougars!

Dear Famke Janssen,

I DO NOT care if you are 43 years old. You are fucking gorgeous and do not look any older than 30. If that is even flattering at all? 



I would still Marry you any day of the week, for I am very confident that even when youre 80, you will be just as hot. I dont care if I cant even pronounce your name at the moment. Im not perfect, nor have good pronunciation by any means. I hope that you can forgive me and let that slide.

Love,

Matthew Richard

ps.

ive been watching X-men on HBO ALL the time just to see you. That is weird, but there isnt a thing I can do about it.

Current Life

Blogs are slow going right now, nothing THAT cool is happening and I havent had much to say but theres a few things I suppose I could update about.

I had to spend $500 on my car this week. NOT COOL. My car has been a little weird the past few months. Never thought much of it though and I just figured it was my alignment, which I planned on taking care of soon. WELL, turns out it was my alignment, BUT it was my REAR alignment. Which I didnt even know existed on vehicles! SO, my rear tires wore out to the metal lineing inside. Since ive been continually driving on them for months. So I had to get 2 new tires. Which are expensive as fuck. BUMMED.

On a positive note, Im in the process of getting this whole drum kit thing sorted out. Ive been actually talking to a Company. Which is something I have never gotten to do on my quest to get the hook up on drums from other friends who are fortunet enough to be in bands and get Custom shit done cheap or for free. Cause usually its I tell them what I want, they tell their dude at the Company and somewhere inbetween there, shit gets lost or confused or nothing at all comes of it.

Ive been talking to one company, ive met someone recently, who is on the inside of another, whos gonna see what he can do and I very well might bother Dustin AGAIN anyway, since Ive gotten a price that Id like to see if someone would be interested in matching to make a sale. Its a good price, but id like it to be a little lower. Even $100 difference makes you not happy, cause its only $100, really, but the lower the price, the more appealing it seems. So ill have to see what happens. 

Im going to finally try to get into Ebay. Though this time, actually selling instead of having an account since 2004 and only buying. I got a lot of shit I dont want and money could be used to put towards this kit. I have such anxiety about it. ugh. 

Also, ive been playing music with Jared and Alanna. Its been going alright so far. Not sure what the plan is, but im still cool with just having SOMETHING to do musically. Its been filling up a void in the middle of the week and I get to see them more. 

Other than that, not much is going on. I have a vacation planned. Not sure if im actually allowed to go on it yet, even though its booked. whoops? 

Spring is coming, even though it is spring now, its still like 40 out, not cool Spring, not cool. 

More on things soon!

Dr. Steve Brule

Great Record

The title says it all. I knew about it for a while, Jared reminded me this week that I needed to actually get it.

I like Feist a lot but I do think that Adele has slipped into #1.

Note To Self:

- Get a Cat

- Name the Cat "kernel whiskers"

- laugh and play with it.

Sprinkler Room!?

What do YOU think is going on inside that room?

Cat Grooming

You ever wonder what happens when you drop your pet off at a Grooming place for it to get cleaned up and all fancy?

Well, Ill put $10 bucks that says this happens.

Red Bamboo!

On our way home from Philly, we decided to make a delicious pit stop in NYC for dinner at a fine vegan/vegetarian joint in Manhattan on 4th, called Red Bamboo.

SOUL CHICKEN MAKES ME

I wish I could have seen a few people that I know in the City but unfortunetly, with the extremely brief notice that I gave everyone, no one could make it. Oh well, another time im sure!

Cooking With Jill: Pecan & Almond Biscotti

The unreadable Recipe...


All the ingredients!


ME MIXIN!


ALL DONE! YUMMMMZZZZ!

WaWa!!!

I LOVE WaWa!!!

Raspberry Tea, SO GOOD!!!!!

FRUIT CUPS! YUMMMMZZZZZ!

best ever

I would love to snug this.

This is Jills dog Puff. Shes is very very cute. I wish that she wasnt Jills dog...or so loyal. So that she would lay with me tonight!

a noble friend.

Philly fun tomorrow!!!!!!!

PATS!

Cliff Sullivan. its 1:00am. right now though, its 1:48, but as soon as i got here, i said, "FUCKIN PATS".

its not 3am, but its close enough.

in your honor, i got Pats, first thing upon arriving to Philly/Jills.

the only thing missing is you buddy!

A Great Recommendation

Yup, thats right. Im kind of a big deal...

This is a birthday card, one that was written by my friend Lauren(who I met when she started dating my friend Juston), to my great most amazing friend Jen. Who keep in mind, at the time of recieving this card, had NO idea who I even was. This card is around 4 or 5 years old. I did not find out about this until probably, last month. Jen had recently moved into a new place and found it and sent this picture to me proving that this little message was included in her card.

I just found it really funny and pretty awesome!

In case any fine lasses were wondering, YES, I am THAT fucking good. Believe it!

yours truly,

Matthew Richard Tellier (Epic Gentleman)

p.s.
BITCHES COME & GET SOME!

LOL overload

I seriously cannot handle this.

Art Blog #2

Now, IF you remember, which you probably dont, cause when I made a blog about Matt Brotkas Bukowski Print no one was really following then. So, Im posting another! Because I purchased another fine print from him.

Although, on any other day I probably wouldnt have bought it, considering im not the biggest Morrissey fan, not to mention Ive only REALLY liked The Smiths for the past month(id rather not explain haha). But I owed my sister a Christmas gift and she requested that I buy this for her, so I did.

Its actually an awesome print. It came out really good and its colorful and bright, unlike my print. The picture does it no justice at all! So I can appreesh.

So overall everyone is happy, I bought a gift, the person likes it and I support a fine man in his career.

Im sure I will also buy other things too in the future. If YOU would like to ever buy anything, add Matt Brotkas Website OR Myspace and look for updates and shit where he might make something you are into.

Phil, im lookin at you bro! Hes got 1 print left! If your into it, get at him! You could pick it up, hes in RVA!

Certificate Of Destruction!

I printed this Br00tal form at work today...

Wedding Fever!

Its only been 2009 for one month and already people are getting wedding fever!!

Jesse and Jim have decided to get married! The wedding date I THINK is February 27th. I should probably actually figure that out for sure haha, but either way, SOMETHING is going on THAT day. Im very excited for them and this wedding!

Juston and Lauren also decided to finally set a date for their wedding. January 17th 2010. I think its the 17th,maybe its the 12th, why am I SO bad with this!? I guess its why they make save the date cards, for assholes like me to remember! They have been engaged for a long time and its great to finally see them get to the wedding! Florida here I come!

Jeremy and Kristine are also getting married and not to purposely highlight them, its just that Kristine and him have sent me the most information for me to photograph at this moment.



May 17th 2009! Im excited!

It has NOTHING to do with weddings, since Luke and Julie have been married for like a year or 2 but the Taylors just had a baby! Jack is out, its intense!

So yeah, congratulations to everyone on their awesome news and major life commitments. Im pumped for you all and hope everything from here on out rules!

Makes me wonder what the hell IM doing! I'll have my turn, I hope!

This is also a huge reminder for me to go out and get a fucking suit. Ive been meaning to for a long time now. I want more than one! Id like a Grey one like my man Frank is wearing below this blog, a black one, a blue one & a white one...yes, I said WHITE. Bill Wheaton, if youre reading this, Ive told you im coming to see you soon at your place of employment. Hook me up man!

Dedication Blog # 2

I think that this may become a new thing, every once in a while when I feel something or someone is deemed worthy of being Dedicated to.

Tonight brings me to this man right here:

He is probably the most Epic Gentleman to ever live. Such a well Dressed man.

So simplistic. Writes the most honest songs, just like "hey, this is how I feel baby" and its the most amazing. He has the most memorable lines. I could not possibly quote or remember them all.

Also one of the few "Artists" that doesnt have a bad song. All Franks songs are golden. You cannot top that!

He makes being bummed look good. I look up to Frank.

Best Dude.

The Gig Life

I havent done a real sort of "written update" in a long time, so I figure that I would do just that. Tonights topic is musical.

I dont have much going on right now, so it would seem. Camplight Conduit slowly became not a band after I joined. So for the past month or so I have been bandless. Though ive kept myself somewhat busy reguardless.

Theres a fine band called Drive All Night. It consists of some very good friends of mine, john and jeff. Being the new year conquest that ive decided to take upon myself, I told them that I would love to play drums for them. Will this happen? Who knows. Probably not, haha but Ive been listening a lot cause the songs are awesome and also so I may learn them. Ive been doing pretty good. So ive been doing that.

Recently Jared told me that this dude Scott that has been recording with him, is looking for people to learn his songs, since he writes everything, guitars, bass, drums and vocals. so that he may start playing them out. So ive started doing that as of like, 4 days ago.

I have another idea along with my friend Todd. That I would also like to incorporate my other friend Mark in as well. Todd told me today he has some riff ideas. Which makes me VERY excited. Considering I for some reason just cant picture myself REALLY ever getting to work with Todd. Cause life is normally unfair to me(or us all) and I am genuinely amped in getting to be in a band with a person who is not only good at music but an awesome dude and person to just be around.

Jeremy also called me up about possibly doing something as well. So who knows what will come of that. I also told Jeremy that I would love to help him with Candy Shop, which his clothing line that he is trying to do. He's doing it himself now, so if he needs an extra hand at anytime during printing his stuff or anything, to give me a phone call. Id get to see Jeremy more too!

Also, a fellow by the name of Joe just moved here to Rhode Island. He lives with Pete. He plays bass in a band already, but brought up when he gets home, starting a little project with some friends of his whom ive met and became friends with as well. So thats another possibility.

AND me and derek might just fuck around and write songs only consisting of us as members. Derek will write both guitars and bass, sing, i might even try to sing and ill also play drums. Just for fun and to work with each other and see each other more often.

Not to mention ALL the ideas listed above pretty much may consist of Derek being in them haha, so hey.

So out of 6 possible bands to be apart of MAYBE ill score one of them! I hope so! Ill even do all 6 of them. fuck it. I have nothing to do, no extremely important "other" to worry about. So why not fill my life up with the only thing that seems to bring me joy in this life. MUSIC.

I already as of now this early in the game cannot say that I am not TRYING. Ive put myself out there to friends in bands telling them I want in, I have said YES and that im interested in any sort of project anyone wants to start and would like me involved. Ive even tryed to start one with some friends.

I thought it would be a lot harder than this, so maybe im not really trying at all? Maybe I just think that I am to some how fulfill my goal for this year to make attempts at things, seize and take advantage of the opportunitites that I create or are offered. Or maybe its really just THAT simple...

I guess in the end its all that you can do. Ive planted seeds both in music and in relationships. All you can do is see if they grow.

Spring time is going to be here before you know it. Im not a religious man, but im praying for flowers.

The Coolest Thing About 3D Movies!

...IS THAT YOU GET TO LOOK SUPER FUCKING COOL!



I went to go see My Bloody Valentine yesterday with a bunch of friends. It was the first time ive ever been to a 3D movie, so i was pumped!

The movie itself was kinda stupid, but the fact that it was 3D made it the most enjoyable. There are a lot of movies coming out this year that will be 3D. I plan on going to a lot of them because why not!?

During the previews i saw that this movie "Coraline" will be coming out soon, in 3D. I am very excited for this!



In other news, in 2010 Tim Burton will be releasing Alice In Wonderland...IN 3D! Johnny Depp is going to be the Mad Hatter. I cannot explain how fucking out of control this movie is going to be. Im going to lose my mind!

Dedication Blog

Now, this seems VERY weird to me for some reason, why im not exactly sure. So ill just get right to it.

There is a gentleman by the name of Stephen Christian. Many people might not know him by name but would very much recognize him as the singer for the band Anberlin. I dont know him personally, though ive stood next to him once last summer, but he does seem like an intelligent fellow and very down to earth. Inspiration is inspiration none-the-less so in reality it really doesnt matter where you get it from. Hell, Rich inspired me to get this blog in the first place by making it seem like a lot of fun, which it is.

To the point, with the turn of this new year and my recap post I've said numerous times what this year means for me. Things might still not "happen" for me,whatever that even means, but that really isnt the goal of this. Its to make attempts. To do things as different as possible than I have done in previous years of my life. Whatever the outcome is, I cannot be ashamed and I must accept the consequences of the actions that I do. Cause its the chance that you take. Id rather take them and deal with whatever comes than to not do them at all and always wonder, what would have became. 

Stephen has a blog, widely followed across the world id imagine called The Modesty Writers Guild. Its a blog that I follow and enjoy reading. On December 31st the blog was updated with a blog called "reject acceptance. accept rejection". I read through this blog and yelled "THATS IT! Thats exactly it!" I found, in this other mans words, EXACTLY what this year encompassed to me. I found it a little strange to be honest, why, i dont know, but there it was and it made me smile and gave me a little bit more ambition to really "try" when a certain situation or opportunity is at hand.

This year will be probably very long, maybe it will feel short. Maybe Ill get some opportunities shot my way, maybe ill make some happen. There could be a lot of disappointment, there could also be fantastic outcomes which fill me up more than I ever have before. No one ever really knows. There are things I want, (a)Person(s)I want, places I want to see, will I get them? As long as I do all I can, I think that I'll be alright. It might hurt at times, but Ive survived this long havent I?

"so this upcoming year all i am asking is that you simply try. i know it sounds easy, but its not because sometimes it hurts to hear no. but what if, just what if there is a yes to be found amongst the no."

Cowboy Bebop!

I discovered this cartoon while i was in high school. i used to watch Conan O'Brien then flip to Adult Swim and i ended up watching an episode and i got sucked in. Most intense. I stayed up till 2am even though i had to get up at 6am for school, i didnt care.

Now like EVERYTHING it seems, i always leave things on a "To Do" list for YEARS later. i found out about Cowboy Bebop in like 2002, its now 2009 and im FINALLY getting the complete set. Bandi even put out a 6 dvd box set with the movie and a soundtrack in 2003 that ran for about, $200. I saw one in Suncoast at the mall once, i just refused to pay that much. So i never ended up getting it. Id check for it here and there on Ebay, still not wanting to pay THAT much for it. I could have also gotten the 6 sold seperatly sessions, but i was always weary if i was REALLY getting all 26 episodes and who wants 6 DVDs?

So last week it popped in my head, "hey,whatever happened with that". I looked on Ebay and ended up finding a couple "perfect sessions" DVDs. That i guess were put out by some production company in Hong Kong. It was cut down to 3 discs and sold for like, $40. I ended up bidding on one and winning it for $24. Good beans!

So now im going to watch it. over over and over again. SO GOOD. I am so pumped i finally own this!