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Providence, Rhode Island, United States

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas



There is certain things in life. They're different for everyone. The thing(s) that bring you back to feeling like a child. It comforts you. Takes you away from the harshness of the world. The harshness of...age. It brings you to a place of innocence, away from all your worries, burdens and pains. It fills you with life. Maybe with the only glimpse of true happiness that any of us will ever feel in our lifetimes and your heart smiles.

Tonight I'll sleep with this light.

Tonight I'll pretend that magic is real.

Merry Christmas.

"Dear night lights, protect my sleeping babes, burn clear and steadfast tonight"

Sunday, December 20, 2009

How much would you bet, that if I tried hard enough, I would spontaneously combust

The end of December yet again approaches and of course, Christmas is on its way. This also means New Years is right around the corner. So in fashion, I see it time for a yearly recap of the things that have happened this year.

It would seem that nothing happened or atleast not a lot, but things did happen.

- I saw Jimmy Eat World on their "Clarity" Tour.
- Jeremy and Kris got married and also gave birth to a son, I think I know of a few others who had children, thats mind blowing.
- I went to Philly with a few friends and got to spend time with Jill for a day or two and meet her now husband, Alex.
- I got to meet 3 very special young women which I am whole heartedly pleased to say that I am friends with from a country far far away called Australia.
- I FINALLY purchased a Custom Drum kit from Dark Horse Percussion.
- I deviated my septum on the 4th of July thanks to Adam Gil.
- A friend in need needed me to fill in on drums for one of their shows, so I did and had a great time, it had been my first time playing a show in 4 years. So that was a really cool thing for me.
- I saw Sunny Day Real Estate on their reunion tour.

Thats it really. Nothing you would call an amazing year to remember.

This year I had a "plan" or atleast a goal of some kind. I dont think you could really call it a "resolution", maybe it was, I dont know, but I am confident to know that ANYTHING would be better than last year and I'll be honest, it was. My "goal" was easy. It was just to simply to TRY. Like I predicted, nothing really worked out for me. Maybe I could have tried harder? Maybe its all my fault that nothing really happened. It wasnt so much to get out there and try new things. It was more of a reason to seize opportunities. Maybe I should have tried to MAKE things happen, rather than give attempts that things that just happen to cross me by. I wanted to do things a little differently, possibly correct mistakes ive made in the past. Put myself out there in hopes that something or someone might align with me or...get it. I feel you can only do so much. Its always possible to make something out of nothing, but its of course, so much harder. Considering I feel the things I want dont really rely on me. They are more up to other people. Im probably making excuses, but I dont think so. Im pretty good at calling out bullshit, even my own.

The love I chose packed up and left like every love I've ever known. I believe that it was lucky number...4. Though you can't blame anything or anyone. Its nothing any of the women I've been fortunate enough to spend time with OR me had done wrong. It just came down to a decision. Me or...something else, somewhere else. It has seemed to be more that simply LIFE has been just pulling everyone in other directions. Whether it be ex-boyfriends, new boyfriends, family, jobs and things of that variety. And Im sure that my current interest will suffer the same peril. Come daylight savings she'll be just as gone as the cold weather and like the remaining snow we'll simply dissipate. I've never had a knack for timing, as it would seem. Id like to one day fix that.

On a more poisitve note, I tryed out for this band called Linden. My friend Rob had called me and told me his friend Eric deals with this band. They need a guitarist and drummer. So me and Rob learned some songs and tracked our tracks with Jared and sent them off. It was probably the most out there thing I've done. I was following my goal. I didnt care if I had to move out to Wisconsin. I was going to give it a shot and try to MAKE it happen. I gave it my best and it goes without saying, Im still here.

This same Eric gave me a call to also fill in for anoter band he deals with. They had a 2 month tour lined up and their drummer had just quit. Sadly, 8 days is not enough time for me to prepair myself or my place of employment that I would be abruptly leaving for 60 days. Now you could argue with me that right there I blew my ticket out, but Its something I didnt feel I could do. So I feel I made the right decision.

Speaking of decisions, I've made the decision that its time. Hopefully in the spring, summer or fall I will be moving out of my home. I've milked it for as long as I can. I've been spending a lot of time in the city and id like to move closer. Id probably see people more often. People might actually come over. I'll probably feel a lot less lonely. You never know who you might run into on the streets and theres always a place to go for a drink or a talk. Its a lot closer to my work. In the summer I can ride my bike for transportation and use my car less. I think it'll be a really good time.

I need to get out there on my own. It'll make me worry about more important things than what I worry about now. Though I know that I will be just fine. It might even occupy some of my time. I can always clean, do the dishes, take out the garbage, or paint something.

2010 brings new life.
- Im gonna move out.
- I've got plans to go visit my friends in Australia.
- I've been really wanting to get back into writing music again. So im going to start trying to get into a musical situation.
- My drums will be finished! I'll then be going to NJ/NYC to go get them and visiting friends.
- In January Ill be going to Florida to see Juston and Lauren get married. Starting the year off right with a trip to escape winter for atleast 4 days.

You never know what can happen. Maybe I'll find that band. Maybe Ill find a really cool place. Maybe I'll finally be enough to keep someone around. Maybe none of this shit will happen at all but as long as I feel good nothing else matters. I mean whats the worst that can happen? I get stuck in the same place I've been all my life.

Here we go again.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Releases of 2009

I've ALWAYS wanted to do one of these! However I NEVER remember all of the releases that came out that year that I enjoyed! So this year I wrote them down!

This year I made it a point to actually PURCHASE copies of records. Im still in the vinyl game, but this year I felt that a lot of excellent bands put out great releases and they were bands that I really do love, enjoy and deserve to get their hard word rewarded by selling a unit. I did fall off the wagon and didnt buy ALL that I wanted too, but theres always time, right? Though im also guilty, cause I did download a lot too. Win some, lose some, I guess.

Here's what I picked up:
AFI- Crash Love
Alexisonfire- Old Crows/Young Cardinals
The Appleseed Cast- Sagarmatha
As Cities Burn - Hell or High Water
As tall as lions- you cant take it with you
The Audition - Self Titled Album
Brand New- Daisy
Cambiata- The Cambiata
Cartel- Cycles
Cassino- Kingprince
Cobra Starship- Hot Mess
Cursive- Mama Im Swollen
Dance Gavin Dance- Happiness
The Dear Hunter- Act III: Life & Death
Death Cab For Cutie - The Open Door
Decibully- World Travels Fast
Dredg- The Pariah, the Parrot, the Delusion
Evergreen Terrace- almost home
Every Time I Die- new junk aesthetic
The Fall Of Troy- in the unlikely event
The Fray- S/T
The Higher- its only natural
Jeremy Enigk- ok bear
This Providence- Who are you now
Mae- (m)orning EP
Mark Rose- The Greatest Lakes
The Mars Volta- Octahedron
Mayday Parade- anywhere but here
Maylene and the Sons of Disaster- III
Municipal Waste- Massive Aggressive
Nightmare Of You- Infomaniac
Owen- New Leaves
Paramore- breand new eyes
Polar Bear Club- Chasing Hamburg
RX bandits- mandala
Say Anything- Say Anything
The Seams- EP
Sherwood- QU
The Sleeping- what it takes
Soul Control- cycles
Taking Back Sunday- New Again
Thrice- Beggars
Thursday- Common Existence

Top 5 of 2009:
1. Thrice- Beggars
2. As Cities Burn- Hell or High Water
3. As Tall As Lions- You Cant Take It With You
4. Dredg- The Pariah, the Parrot, the Delusion
5. Every Time I Die- new junk aesthetic

Honorable Mentions:
Alexisonfire- Old Crows/Young Cardinals
Brand New- Daisy
Cursive- mama Im Swollen
The Dear Hunter- Act III: Life & Death
Jeremy Enigk- Ok Bear
RX Bandits- Mandala

I am a bit surprised at my list. There are things I didnt expect to be on it and missing things I thought WOULD be on it. This was a surprising year. I got into new bands. Some bands put out fantastic releases, but something about them fell short.

Solitude.

"I was a man who thrived on solitude; without it
I was like another man without food or water.
Each day without solitude weakened me.
I took not pride in my solitude; but I was dependent on it.
The darkness of the room was like sunlight to me."

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Blackbirds Are Rough Today

"Lonely as a dry and used orchard spread over the earth for use and surrender.

Shot down like an ex-pug selling dailies on the corner.

Taken by tears like an aging chorus girl whos gotten her last check.

A hanky is in order your lord, your worship.

The blackbirds are rough today like ingrown toenails in an overnight jail--wine wine whine, the blackbirds run around and fly around harping about Spainish melodies and bones.

And everywhere is nowhere--the dream is as bad as flapjacks and flat tires:

why do we go on with our minds and pockets full of dust like a bad boy just out of school, you tell me, you who were a hero in some revolution. You who teach children. You who drink with calmness. You who own large homes and walk in gardens. You who have killed a man and own a beautiful wife. You tell me.

Why am I on fire like old dry garbage.

We might surely have some interesting correspondence. It will keep the mailman busy.

And the butterflies and ants and bridges and cemeteries, the rocket-makers and dogs and garage mechanics will still go on a while until we run out of stamps and/0r ideas.

Dont be ashamed of anything; I guess God meant it all like locks on doors."

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Find and Buy Me This Shirt.

Talk about wearing your heart on your sleeve, what about an entire front print!?


I came across this photograph via my buddy Phil Williams blog. He found it via someone, who probably found it via 9000 people. Phil is always a good one for finding random cool shit on the internet. Kudos Phil!

I really dont have anything else to say about this shirt, other than I WANT IT. I would have to buy many of them, cause I would probably wear it every day for the rest of my life.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I NEED FUEL!

Soooo, while perusing around on the old interwebs I came across this. Yes, you would be correct to say that it is a coffee mug, cause thats what it is, but its not your typical piece of ceramics meant for holding your morning brew.

IT'S A HOT WATER MUSIC MUG DUDE!




So, now I can say that I, Matthew Richard Tellier, has his OWN coffee mug. I use mugs daily, but now this one is MINE. It will be only used by ME and if not, I will pour whatever hot beverage is contained within this mug onto them. So back off!

Now I understand that it might be a bit frivolous to make such an event out of such and object cause its a friggin mug but this mug, for the time being until I acquire the other necessary attributes, is my manly possession. What is a Dad without HIS chair? What is a Grandfather without his cardigan, slippers and probably also, chair? Even an old dog without whatever it is hes been laying on for all those years...

So for the eager young gentleman that I so happen to be, whos ready to wake up and give the world a good ol fashioned ass kicking, this is the best and most relevant symbol that I can think of.