"Regression In The Service Of The Ego"

Yet another insightful passage from "The Denial Of Death". This book will occasionally dish out some awesome stuff.

If you know me at all, then you will read this and say "hm,makes sense" and not be shocked as to why I find this interesting. Now, I wouldnt say that Im the woman in the situation or the male, since I like to think I have some sort of perception into understanding both male and female psychological (re)actions and the only thing that pigeon holds any specific (re)action is whats been taught,mainly told to us by "society",but thats a WHOLE different thing all together. I guess what I could say is I understand the, moral significance,maybe? Of the whole thing. This is far deeper than anything I could ever explain, but on the surface, I agree and find it a fantastic referance for explaination. That I also may be blessed or cursed with the preferance to appreciate the mind before the body.

"But we can anticipate it by showing how sexuality is inseperable from out existential paradox, the dualism of humant nature. The Person is both a self and a body, and from the beginning there is the confusion about where "he" really "is"-in the symbolic inner self or in the physical body. Each phenomenological realm is different. The inner self represents the freedom of thought, imagination, and the infinite reach of symbolism. The body represents determinism and boundness. The child gradually learns that his freedom as a unique being is dragged back by the body and its appendages which dictate "what" he is. For this reason sexuality is as much a problem for the adult as for the child: the physical solution to the problem of who we are and why we have emerged on this planet is no help-in fact, it is a terrible threat. It doesnt tell the person what he is deep down inside, what kind of distinctive gift he is to work upon the world. This is why it is so difficult to have sex without guilt: guilt is there because the body casts a shadow on the persons inner freedom, his "real self" that- through the act of sex-is being forced into a standardized, mechanical, biological role. Even worse, the inner self is not even being called into consideration at all; the body takes over completely for the total person, and this kind of guilt makes the inner self shrink and threaten to disappear.
This is why a woman asks for assurance that the man wants "me" and not "only my body"; she is painfully conscious that her own distinctive inner personality can be dispensed with in the sexual act. If it is dispended with, it doesnt count. The fact is that the man usually does want only the body,and the womans total personality is reduced to a mere animal role. The existential paradox vanishes, and one has no distinctive humanity to protest. One creative way of coping with this is, of course, to allow it to happen and to go with it: what the psychoanalysts call "regression in the service of the ego". The person becomes, for a time, merely his physical self and so absolves the painfulness of the existential paradox and the guilt that goes with sex. Love is one great key to this kind of sexuality because it allows the collapse of the individual into the animal dimension without fear and guilt, but instead with trust and assurance that his distinctive inner freedom will not be negated by an animal surrender."