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Providence, Rhode Island, United States

Monday, August 2, 2010

Ode To Serotonin

The past few months I've been gearing up to the commemoration of my blogs first birthday. Only to realize I'm on my THIRD year of blogging. Whoops? So, HAPPY THIRD BIRTHDAY BLOG! You have been a good friend and I would like to take a few moments to talk about you.

As minuscule as it might be, this blog has had a very positive impact. It started out as an archive for me to jot down all the specs I had for the numerous custom drum kits I would create on a daily basis. I didn't really have any idea that it would turn into what it did.

I took it upon myself to steer this blog about as far away as possible from Live Journal as I could. Not only is Live Journal old news in the Internet world but I was also extremely guilty of being your typical "Live Journal user" in which I would disgustingly complain and pour myself into on a semi-regular basis about my troubles at hand and yes, they were mainly all about girls. I was no different than any other asshole on the Internet using that website.

Now, I've grown up. I've changed. It's time to personify myself appropriately. I will admit that I used to be a VERY melancholy person. From the ages of about 15-19, maybe even longer than that. I spent a lot of my years in all kinds of random holes. Some how all tied into "Love" in one way or another. What one even understands of love at that age is most likely complete bullshit anyway. So I guess that it was teens being teens. It was that, wasn't it?

In preparation for this, I've really tried to look at myself. So that I could properly distinguish who I am now, to who I was then. It's bizarrely all boiled down to 2007's down fall. The down fall of myself, if you will. If you have ever seen the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall I'm sure you are familiar and in some way connected yourself to the dialogue between Peter and Rachel on the cliff. I too feel impervious to pain. I honestly feel as though I had hit the lowest point I ever had in my entire life that winter. Since then I have become a completely different person. It's obvious that there is only one way to go from the bottom and that way is up. I no longer worry about love. Sure things have not worked out for me since but I look at them so much differently now. My blog has occasionally been compromised with what I have dubbed "rule breakers" due to these missteps. Though instead of ranting on like a mindless baby, I try to convey the emotion artistically. I try to grasp it, understand it and profoundly express it.

I cannot even remember the last time I carried a melancholy vibe. I see this a good thing. This blog has given me a place to express who I am today and I think I do a good job at it. It might not be perfect, well followed an viewed across the Internet and my grammar might be complete shit but none of that matters to me. I don't look down upon the rule breakers. For it is human to feel pensive sometimes and it is just apart of me as it is anyone else. Its all in how you deal with it and I just choose to not make myself look bad any longer. There's no time to be sad and it sure as hell does not belong on the internet. I'm a bright, loud, smiley and fun personality. Thats how I try to keep this blog. It might be a bit corny to admit that I am always thinking of what I can blog next. What am I going to find or what am I going to have to say. I don't consider myself a writer and I probably never will. I wouldn't even consider myself a "Blogger" even though by argument I totally am. I feel that most dubbed "bloggers" are self-absorbed attention whores spewing their ideals across the web in attempts to gain some sort of credible mark in the world of journalism. (view what I'm saying here on my buddy Phils tumblr).

I am very excited for things to come. When I stop and think about how awesome life is going to be from late August-December it blows my mind. For those who follow, thanks. I'm glad you like what you see. I have no intention of stopping.

Happy Birthday Blog!

"those who escape hell however 
never talk about it 
and nothing much 
bothers them 
after that." - Bukowski


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